Kim Scott

If I march into a room and I say, 'Lenny, I'm going to tell you the truth.' I'm kind of implying I've got a pipeline to God and you don't know anything. And that's not what this is all about. This is a dialogue, not a monologue.

If I'm a jerk to you Lenny, then I'm going to send you into fight or flight mode and then you literally cannot hear what I'm saying, so I'm wasting my breath.

Do not write down my question because if you sound like Kim Scott and not like yourself, then other people are not going to believe you want the answer. It needs to sound authentic to you.

Six seconds is a really long time. Almost nobody can endure six full seconds of silence. So they'll probably tell you something.

I just decided that these moments of management were more important than being on time to my next meeting. And so I was just late sometimes.

If you say, 'Do you have any feedback for me?' You're wasting your breath. The other person's going to say, 'Oh no, everything's fine.' The question that I like to ask is, 'What could I do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?'

Six seconds is a really long time. Almost nobody can endure six full seconds of silence. So they'll probably tell you something.

You're going to lose your top performers. And I think very often people are afraid to tell someone on their team when their work isn't good enough because they're afraid of losing them. But that's not a good reason.

My job was not to be liked. My job was to care about other people and to get out of my own head and to become others focused is what helped me kind of let go of the need to be liked.

It's not disagreement that poses a risk to our relationships. It's unspoken disagreement. Many, I don't know about you Lenny, but a lot of my best professional relationships began with a good respectful disagreement.

You do not have to choose between being successful and being a jerk. You can be a successful kind person.

If you do not reward that risk richly, you're never going to get any feedback again. So if you agree with the feedback, fix the problem and make your listening tangible, be loud.